Networking Without Feeling Awkward
You walk into a room full of strangers in smart-casual clothes, clutching a lukewarm coffee and a name badge that’s already peeling at the corner. Everyone else seems to be deep in conversation. You hover near the refreshments table, check your phone for no reason, and wonder why you came. If that sounds familiar, take a breath: you’re not alone, and you’re not doomed to feel this way forever. At UTSCareersBlog, we’ve spoken to hundreds of students and graduates who dread networking, and we’ve seen most of them go from wallflower to confident connector within a few events. This guide is about how to do that without pretending to be someone you’re not.
Why Networking Feels Awkward (And Why That’s Okay)
Networking anxiety isn’t a personality flaw — it’s a survival instinct misfiring. Your brain treats a room of strangers as a potential threat, so it floods you with self-consciousness and urges you to retreat. The numbers back this up: a 2023 Prospects survey found that 68% of UK graduates feel nervous about networking. That’s roughly two-thirds of everyone in the room feeling exactly as you do. Even senior professionals at firms like Deloitte and PwC have admitted in interviews that they still find networking awkward at times. The difference is that they’ve learned to act despite the discomfort, not because they’ve eliminated it.
The Fear of Rejection and How to Reframe It
Most networking fear comes down to one thought: “What if they don’t want to talk to me?” Here’s a reframe that works. You’re not asking for a job, a favour, or validation. You’re offering a moment of interesting conversation. If someone is busy or dismissive, that’s information about them, not a verdict on you. We suggest treating every interaction as a low-stakes experiment: the goal isn’t to impress, it’s to learn one new thing about someone’s work. Rejection stings less when the stakes are that small.
Why Authenticity Beats Perfection
Nobody wants to talk to a polished robot reciting a script. The people who network well are the ones who admit they’re new to this, ask genuine questions, and laugh when something goes wrong. If you blank on someone’s name, say so. If you’re nervous, a simple “I’m new to these events” often disarms the other person, because they remember feeling the same way. Authenticity gives the other person permission to relax too.
Start Small: Low-Pressure Ways to Build Your Network
You don’t have to jump straight into a crowded event. Some of the most effective networking happens quietly, from your laptop. Start with LinkedIn, your university’s alumni network, and platforms like Gradcracker, which connects UK students with employers in engineering, technology, and science. Commenting thoughtfully on a post from a UK professional can spark a conversation without any of the pressure of a formal event. We’ve seen students land internships simply because they asked a sensible question in the comments.
Using LinkedIn Without Feeling Like a Salesperson
The trick is to give before you ask. Share an article you found useful, congratulate someone on a project, or add a short, specific comment rather than “Great post!” When you do send a connection request, personalise it. Something like: “Hi Priya, I saw your talk on sustainable supply chains at the Bright Network Festival — I’m studying logistics at Leeds and would love to follow your work.” That’s not selling. That’s starting a human conversation.
Leveraging University Careers Services and Alumni Networks
Your university careers service is an underused goldmine. Many run alumni mentoring schemes, mock interviews, and employer insight sessions that are far less intimidating than a formal networking event. Alumni are often especially willing to help, because they remember being in your position. Check your careers portal weekly, and don’t be shy about emailing the alumni office to ask what’s coming up.
How to Work a Room at UK Networking Events
Events like the Bright Network Festival or your university’s annual careers fair can feel overwhelming, but they’re also where opportunities happen. Our advice: set a goal of talking to just two people. Not ten. Two. That’s achievable, and it removes the pressure to “work the room” like a politician. Prepare two or three open questions in advance, such as “What’s the most interesting project you’ve worked on this year?” Open questions invite stories, and stories keep conversations flowing.
What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say
Silence happens. When it does, fall back on these reliable openers:
- “What brought you to this event?”
- “How did you get into your current role?”
- “What’s one thing you wish you’d known as a graduate?”
- “Is there anyone here you’d recommend I speak to?”
That last one is quietly powerful — it turns the person you’re talking to into a connector, and it often leads to your next introduction.
The Art of Joining and Leaving Conversations
To join a group, hover at the edge, make eye contact, and wait for a natural pause before saying, “Mind if I join you?” To leave gracefully, use what we call the exit line: “It’s been great talking to you — I’m going to grab a drink before the next session, but let’s connect on LinkedIn.” You’ve been polite, you’ve signalled the end clearly, and you’ve left the door open. No awkward hovering, no sudden vanishing.
Turning Awkward Encounters into Meaningful Connections
The conversation is only half the job. A 2022 LinkedIn study found that 80% of professionals say follow-up is key to making networking work. Send a personalised message within 24 hours — ideally the same evening — and reference something specific from your chat. “You mentioned your team is trialling a four-day week — I’d love to hear how that goes” beats “Nice to meet you” every time.
The Follow-Up Message That Doesn’t Sound Desperate
Keep it short, warm, and specific. A three-sentence template works well:
- Remind them where you met: “We spoke at the Bright Network Festival on Friday.”
- Reference one detail: “Your point about graduate rotations in the NHS scheme stuck with me.”
- Make a light, low-pressure ask: “If you ever have 15 minutes for a quick chat, I’d really value your perspective.”
No essays, no desperation. Just clarity and warmth.
Nurturing Relationships Over Time
Don’t treat contacts as one-off transactions. Check in every few months with something useful — an article, a job posting, a congratulations. Over time, these small gestures build genuine relationships, and when a graduate job opens up at their company, you’re the person they think of first.
Networking for Introverts: Strategies That Actually Work
If big events drain you, skip them. Many successful UK entrepreneurs, including Dragons’ Den’s Deborah Meaden, identify as introverts. Introverts often build deeper, more meaningful networks because they prefer substance over small talk. Choose one-on-one coffee chats over crowded mixers, prepare three talking points in advance, and use written communication — email, LinkedIn messages, even handwritten notes — where you feel most articulate.
Preparing Your Personal ‘Elevator Pitch’
You don’t need a slick sales pitch. You need a 20-second answer to “What do you do?” Try this structure: who you are, what you’re studying or doing, and what you’re curious about. For example: “I’m a final-year psychology student at Manchester, and I’m really interested in how organisations use behavioural insights. I’m currently exploring graduate schemes in HR and consulting.” Practise it out loud until it feels natural, not rehearsed.
Using Online Communities to Build Confidence
Online communities are a safe training ground. Join LinkedIn groups relevant to your field, follow UK industry hashtags, and participate in webinars where you can ask questions in the chat. Gradcracker’s forums and university alumni groups on LinkedIn are great places to start. Once you’ve had a few positive online interactions, in-person events feel far less daunting.
From Awkward to Advantage: Using Networking for Graduate Jobs
Here’s why this matters: according to the UK Commission for Employment and Skills, 60% of jobs are found through networking. That means the majority of graduate roles are never advertised in the way you might expect. If you’re targeting competitive employers like Unilever, the BBC, or NHS graduate schemes, a personal connection inside the organisation can be the difference between your application being read and being overlooked.
How to Ask for Informational Interviews
An informational interview is a short, low-pressure chat about someone’s career — not a request for a job. Reach out on LinkedIn with a clear, respectful message: “I’m exploring careers in public health and would love 15 minutes to hear about your route into the NHS graduate scheme. I’m happy to work around your schedule.” Most people say yes, because it’s a compliment and it takes very little of their time.
Turning Contacts into Referrals and Internships
Once you’ve built a rapport, you can gently ask: “Do you know of any internships or graduate roles coming up on your team?” A referral doesn’t guarantee a job, but it often gets your CV past the first screening. Many UK employers — including Unilever and the BBC — run referral schemes where employees can flag promising candidates. That’s the quiet power of networking: it turns strangers into advocates.
FAQ
Is it normal to feel awkward at networking events?
Absolutely. A 2023 Prospects survey found that 68% of UK graduates feel nervous about networking, and even senior professionals admit to feeling awkward. The feeling is normal — what matters is having a few simple strategies to move past it.
What if I have no one to talk to at an event?
Start by setting a goal of speaking to just two people. Use open questions like “What brought you here?” and look for individuals standing alone — they’re often just as relieved as you are to have someone approach them.
How soon should I follow up after meeting someone?
Within 24 hours. A 2022 LinkedIn study found that 80% of professionals say follow-up is key, so send a short, personalised message referencing something specific from your conversation while it’s still fresh.
Can networking really help me get a graduate job?
Yes. The UK Commission for Employment and Skills reports that 60% of jobs are found through networking. Many graduate schemes at employers like Unilever, the BBC, and the NHS are highly competitive, so a personal connection or referral can make a real difference.
I’m an introvert — is there a way to network that suits me?
Definitely. Skip large events in favour of one-on-one coffee chats, prepare a few talking points in advance, and lean on written communication like LinkedIn messages. Many successful UK entrepreneurs, including Deborah Meaden, identify as introverts.
Networking is a skill, not a personality trait, and like any skill it improves with practice. The first few conversations will feel clumsy — that’s fine. Embrace the awkwardness, start small, follow up thoughtfully, and over time those nervous first chats will turn into genuine relationships that open doors to graduate jobs, internships, and careers you might never have found on your own.
